[::..My Last..::]
Well this is will be my last Blogger entry. So I guess it better be good.
Goodbye everyone. Goodbye. I can't do this anymore. Its time I let you all go. For good. I'll miss you all so much. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I love you all. But I guess I better tell you, here goes nothing:
Marina- I really don't know you that well. Not like I know some of the other ppl in the group. But still I knew you enough to know that you are a great person. You fun, smart and a good friend. Hanging out with you have created some memories that I wont soon forget. I'm giving you official Only Minority In The Group status. Goodbye.
Emily- Didn't know you that well either. But again, your a great and fun person. A fellow otaku. Anime nights kept me sane for a while. Keep up your otakuness. Don't let me down. I'm giving you Sesshoumaru. Goodbye.
Shaffer- Well, we've had a few troubles. Ok, more then a few. But still, I love you. You're a person that I've known for so long. One of the few that have managed not to get sick of me. Our relationship has had varying degrees of closeness but still, I care about you. Your now the only Jessica in the group. I'm giving you your name back, no more being called Shaffer. Goodbye.
Sam- Sammy Wammy. So many good times. I love you too. You were my writer friend and my fellow Potterhead. Its going to be hard for me not to make random comments in your ear in Potions anymore. But still, I care for you. Your always one to give great advice and be able to have some fun. I'm giving you official Potter Nerd status. Goodbye.
Tracy- I'll cut right to the chase, I love you. I think we were both just too messed up, to really be close for too long. Your a great person too and I know that I'll never forget you. You and *Nsync made me more outgoing. I wish we could have had a more consistent friendship, but I still care about you despite our misgivings. And I envy you right about now, you have the one you love. You dont know how lucky you are. *sigh* I'm giving you official Biggest Bitch In The Group status. Goodbye.
Misc Other Friends- Cassye, Mandy, Kujo, Dustin, David, Quigles, Ashley, Saffina, Christine, Deepti and so many others. I'm afraid your all being lumped into one category. Sorry. But still I love you all. My time with you has meant the world to me. Your all great people, in so many ways. I'll never forget you, I love you all. I'm giving you all my fondest thoughts and love.
Matthew James- Last and most defiantly not least. *sigh* Where to begin, where to begin. I just don't know. Saying "I love you" just doesn't feel like enough. I can't think of words to describe how I feel about you. Whenever I try to think of something I can use to describe how much you mean to me, all I hear playing louder and louder and over and over in my head is The Next Ten Minutes. You mean so much to me, I can't even describe it. Anything you want, anything at all, all you had to do was ask and I would have done it. That's how important to me you are. How much I'm in love with you. I know is sounds crazy. I'm not even 17 yet, how can I be in love with you? Oh but I am. You've done so much for me. Changed me so much. Made me so happy. You're the 1st person to care about me, not cause you had to, but because you wanted to. You were the one that taught me how to be happy, how to laugh and smile. You were the one that showed me who I really was, challenged what I said and thought, pushed me to be a better me. But most of all, you were the one that opened me up to love. For all those things, I'm forever in you debt. And forever in love with you. Nothing can change that, and no one will ever mean more to me then you do. You saved me Matthew. And how did I repay you? I made fun of you, hurt you, pushed you away. God, I'm so eternally sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I wish that I could make you understand how much you mean to me. But most of all I just hope that one day you'll forgive me for all the times I hit you, yelled at you and hurt you. I just hope that you don't hate me. They say you never forget your 1st love and I know that I'll never forget you. Never. I'll never forget the way you made me laugh, made me smile, made me happy to be alive. I'll never forget the way just thinking of you, or hearing your voice, calmed me down. I'll never forget how just the barest of touches from you set electric shivers down my spine. And I'll never forget how looking you in the eye, your amazing blue eyes, made me feel more exposed and more secure then I've ever felt in my life. Its you I'll miss the most. I give you all my eternal gratitude, my deepest apologies, and all my love. Goodbye.
I'll miss you all so much. Maybe, someday, I'll have you all back in my life. But for now at least. Goodbye.
Goodbye everyone. Goodbye. I can't do this anymore. Its time I let you all go. For good. I'll miss you all so much. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I love you all. But I guess I better tell you, here goes nothing:
Marina- I really don't know you that well. Not like I know some of the other ppl in the group. But still I knew you enough to know that you are a great person. You fun, smart and a good friend. Hanging out with you have created some memories that I wont soon forget. I'm giving you official Only Minority In The Group status. Goodbye.
Emily- Didn't know you that well either. But again, your a great and fun person. A fellow otaku. Anime nights kept me sane for a while. Keep up your otakuness. Don't let me down. I'm giving you Sesshoumaru. Goodbye.
Shaffer- Well, we've had a few troubles. Ok, more then a few. But still, I love you. You're a person that I've known for so long. One of the few that have managed not to get sick of me. Our relationship has had varying degrees of closeness but still, I care about you. Your now the only Jessica in the group. I'm giving you your name back, no more being called Shaffer. Goodbye.
Sam- Sammy Wammy. So many good times. I love you too. You were my writer friend and my fellow Potterhead. Its going to be hard for me not to make random comments in your ear in Potions anymore. But still, I care for you. Your always one to give great advice and be able to have some fun. I'm giving you official Potter Nerd status. Goodbye.
Tracy- I'll cut right to the chase, I love you. I think we were both just too messed up, to really be close for too long. Your a great person too and I know that I'll never forget you. You and *Nsync made me more outgoing. I wish we could have had a more consistent friendship, but I still care about you despite our misgivings. And I envy you right about now, you have the one you love. You dont know how lucky you are. *sigh* I'm giving you official Biggest Bitch In The Group status. Goodbye.
Misc Other Friends- Cassye, Mandy, Kujo, Dustin, David, Quigles, Ashley, Saffina, Christine, Deepti and so many others. I'm afraid your all being lumped into one category. Sorry. But still I love you all. My time with you has meant the world to me. Your all great people, in so many ways. I'll never forget you, I love you all. I'm giving you all my fondest thoughts and love.
Matthew James- Last and most defiantly not least. *sigh* Where to begin, where to begin. I just don't know. Saying "I love you" just doesn't feel like enough. I can't think of words to describe how I feel about you. Whenever I try to think of something I can use to describe how much you mean to me, all I hear playing louder and louder and over and over in my head is The Next Ten Minutes. You mean so much to me, I can't even describe it. Anything you want, anything at all, all you had to do was ask and I would have done it. That's how important to me you are. How much I'm in love with you. I know is sounds crazy. I'm not even 17 yet, how can I be in love with you? Oh but I am. You've done so much for me. Changed me so much. Made me so happy. You're the 1st person to care about me, not cause you had to, but because you wanted to. You were the one that taught me how to be happy, how to laugh and smile. You were the one that showed me who I really was, challenged what I said and thought, pushed me to be a better me. But most of all, you were the one that opened me up to love. For all those things, I'm forever in you debt. And forever in love with you. Nothing can change that, and no one will ever mean more to me then you do. You saved me Matthew. And how did I repay you? I made fun of you, hurt you, pushed you away. God, I'm so eternally sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I wish that I could make you understand how much you mean to me. But most of all I just hope that one day you'll forgive me for all the times I hit you, yelled at you and hurt you. I just hope that you don't hate me. They say you never forget your 1st love and I know that I'll never forget you. Never. I'll never forget the way you made me laugh, made me smile, made me happy to be alive. I'll never forget the way just thinking of you, or hearing your voice, calmed me down. I'll never forget how just the barest of touches from you set electric shivers down my spine. And I'll never forget how looking you in the eye, your amazing blue eyes, made me feel more exposed and more secure then I've ever felt in my life. Its you I'll miss the most. I give you all my eternal gratitude, my deepest apologies, and all my love. Goodbye.
I'll miss you all so much. Maybe, someday, I'll have you all back in my life. But for now at least. Goodbye.
Alura - 12:27 AM