[::..What Is This Feeling?..::]
So I've been having an odd feeling lately. Its a feeling I hate, a feeling of hopelessness. I can feel that things are about to snap in the delicate balance that I have them in. I can sense that coming and I dont know what to do to prevent that from happening. I've also been having an intense feeling of lonliness and nost belonging. Even in a group situation, I dont feel like I belong. I feel like I'm slipping away from them somehow. And its not like I've had this feeling once and I'm over reacting to it. Its a feeling I have everytime I'm with my friends. I just dont feel like I belong anywhere. I feel like I'm in some kind of in between, a pergatory of friends. Ugh! I just dont know how to describe it. I'm just intensly lonely. And because of this feeling, everything else seems bland. Fics aren't as good, games aren't as fun, jokes not as funny. *sigh* I just dont know what I'm going to do. I can't stand feeling this way, its horrible. Especially because I know that I'm being stupid. I just can't explain why I feel this way, but I do. I hate it so much, I've been crying myself to sleep that past few nights, I'm really surprised that I didn't while I was at Emily's. Thank God for self-control. *sigh* I just want this to stop. I just want to be able to be happy for once. Long term happy. Is that so much to ask?
ttyl and better days,
---Rhodes
I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
All the little pieces falling - shatter
Shards of me to sharp to put back together
Too small to matter
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her
---Evanescence, Breathe No More, Origin
ttyl and better days,
---Rhodes
I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
All the little pieces falling - shatter
Shards of me to sharp to put back together
Too small to matter
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her
---Evanescence, Breathe No More, Origin
Alura - 12:27 AM
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
[::..Everything And Nothing..::]
Well I realized that I haven't updated this in a while and I thought I'd update not just on the MD topic, but on all topics touched on in this Blog. *stretches* This could take a while.
Disclaimer: Due to my sarcastic and rude nature I'll probably take some cheap shots in this. But please don’t take offense to them. The fact that I'm joking about them means that I've put it behind me and all's forgiven if not forgotten.
1. Not so depressed. I suppose you could say I "have my moments" but I'm certainly not as miserable as I was at the start of this Blog. I'm actually happy to be alive now and I dont sit around wishing for death or thinking about running away. Its great to be able to enjoy life again. I mean, things aren't perfect, but they are a shit load better and much more managable.
2. Matt. It's funny almost. I started this thing hopelessly in love and thinking that I'd loose him as a friend forever because of it. Now I'm over him once and for all! And though we may not be as good of friends as we used to be, we're getting along great. I see him a lot more now (not saying much seeing as how before I never saw him. Sorry cheap shot!) And we talk pretty well now. I think that we have a chance of becoming good friends again.
3. My family is fine. The Nazi is still just that, a Nazi but oh well. That’s not bothering me as much anymore. Troy is great! Hess in Cali for a while for work, but he'll be back for a few days either this weekend of the next. Troy helped me move on from Matt and has so much more likeable then the Nazi. My mom still gets on my nerves from time to time, but she hasn’t been as bad lately. Or maybe I'm less emo and I don’t take what she says as badly. Whatever. My bro and sis are fine. I don’t see them much which is fine because it allows less chance for them to piss me off and thus have us fight. As for more extended family the only thing of note is my grandfather. Hess doing ok and so far his doctors say that he should be receptive to surgery. Now to convince him to actually have the surgery. *shakes head* He’s a stubborn person; I think it runs in our family.
4. Friends wise things are better. I'm on good terms with everyone. Tracy is still estranged from the group. I won’t lie and say things are better, but they aren't as bad as they could be. Yes, that’s a good way to put it. Everyone is facing the problem and trying to figure out what they think about the subject. That's defiantly a step in the right direction. As for my "between best friends" thing. I'd have to say that’s still true. But it's not as bad or lonely as before. I guess I’ve come to terms with that. I've come accept that I'm not particularly close to one person, but I do have more then one person I can lean on. Its better then nothing.
5. As for work, well thats going better. With so many people working night shift now (thanks to Tom switching from days to nights) I dont have as much pressure to work that many hours. Plus I make more money now so I dont notice the change in hours very much. Everyone at work is cool, at both stores actually. MJ is still annoying and Fatass still frieghtens me, but I'll live.
6. I've been getting more sleep lately and just generally taking better care of myself. I'm taking more time to rest and not get as stressed out. I have way less black outs and I just generally feel a whole lot better physicaly.
7. School is ok. My grades are good so far this semester and with no more Nazi speak and a new Study Hall I have a lot more time to do homework. My teachers are cool this semester (for the most part) and none of them give me too hard a time. APUSH is less stressful and I'm enjoying the class as always. I'm rocking our tests so far and my essays have improved a lot.
8. Love life. Well its back. And this time instead of just horrible unrequited love, its the posibility of a new relationship. After I talk to Indre I'll decide 100% whether or not I ask Matt to Spring. So unless Indre says that MD is no longer interested or something, I'll ask him on Sunday. Wish me luck! Its so great to have a crush on someone and not have the feeling of being heartbroken. Its truly uplifting. Though I do want things to work out between MD and I.
I think thats all. Its not nearly as long as I thought it would be. But I felt that many issues were opened up in this Blog but never resolved. And I felt I needed to bring some closure to those issues.
ttyl and kinky sex dreams for all,
---Rhodes
The Heart May Freeze
Or It Can Burn
The Pain Will Ease
---Mimi, Another Day, Rent
Disclaimer: Due to my sarcastic and rude nature I'll probably take some cheap shots in this. But please don’t take offense to them. The fact that I'm joking about them means that I've put it behind me and all's forgiven if not forgotten.
1. Not so depressed. I suppose you could say I "have my moments" but I'm certainly not as miserable as I was at the start of this Blog. I'm actually happy to be alive now and I dont sit around wishing for death or thinking about running away. Its great to be able to enjoy life again. I mean, things aren't perfect, but they are a shit load better and much more managable.
2. Matt. It's funny almost. I started this thing hopelessly in love and thinking that I'd loose him as a friend forever because of it. Now I'm over him once and for all! And though we may not be as good of friends as we used to be, we're getting along great. I see him a lot more now (not saying much seeing as how before I never saw him. Sorry cheap shot!) And we talk pretty well now. I think that we have a chance of becoming good friends again.
3. My family is fine. The Nazi is still just that, a Nazi but oh well. That’s not bothering me as much anymore. Troy is great! Hess in Cali for a while for work, but he'll be back for a few days either this weekend of the next. Troy helped me move on from Matt and has so much more likeable then the Nazi. My mom still gets on my nerves from time to time, but she hasn’t been as bad lately. Or maybe I'm less emo and I don’t take what she says as badly. Whatever. My bro and sis are fine. I don’t see them much which is fine because it allows less chance for them to piss me off and thus have us fight. As for more extended family the only thing of note is my grandfather. Hess doing ok and so far his doctors say that he should be receptive to surgery. Now to convince him to actually have the surgery. *shakes head* He’s a stubborn person; I think it runs in our family.
4. Friends wise things are better. I'm on good terms with everyone. Tracy is still estranged from the group. I won’t lie and say things are better, but they aren't as bad as they could be. Yes, that’s a good way to put it. Everyone is facing the problem and trying to figure out what they think about the subject. That's defiantly a step in the right direction. As for my "between best friends" thing. I'd have to say that’s still true. But it's not as bad or lonely as before. I guess I’ve come to terms with that. I've come accept that I'm not particularly close to one person, but I do have more then one person I can lean on. Its better then nothing.
5. As for work, well thats going better. With so many people working night shift now (thanks to Tom switching from days to nights) I dont have as much pressure to work that many hours. Plus I make more money now so I dont notice the change in hours very much. Everyone at work is cool, at both stores actually. MJ is still annoying and Fatass still frieghtens me, but I'll live.
6. I've been getting more sleep lately and just generally taking better care of myself. I'm taking more time to rest and not get as stressed out. I have way less black outs and I just generally feel a whole lot better physicaly.
7. School is ok. My grades are good so far this semester and with no more Nazi speak and a new Study Hall I have a lot more time to do homework. My teachers are cool this semester (for the most part) and none of them give me too hard a time. APUSH is less stressful and I'm enjoying the class as always. I'm rocking our tests so far and my essays have improved a lot.
8. Love life. Well its back. And this time instead of just horrible unrequited love, its the posibility of a new relationship. After I talk to Indre I'll decide 100% whether or not I ask Matt to Spring. So unless Indre says that MD is no longer interested or something, I'll ask him on Sunday. Wish me luck! Its so great to have a crush on someone and not have the feeling of being heartbroken. Its truly uplifting. Though I do want things to work out between MD and I.
I think thats all. Its not nearly as long as I thought it would be. But I felt that many issues were opened up in this Blog but never resolved. And I felt I needed to bring some closure to those issues.
ttyl and kinky sex dreams for all,
---Rhodes
The Heart May Freeze
Or It Can Burn
The Pain Will Ease
---Mimi, Another Day, Rent
Alura - 3:21 PM
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
[::..Logical MD Pt. II..::]
All right, well I’m sure that you all either read or heard about this already. But this is a less excited, hyper and more logical approach to the Matt situation. (Note: Again, in this entry, “Matt” refers to Subway Matt.)
You all already know that Jazel spilled the beans to Matt about me liking him. And I may or may not have told you the according to Indre he already suspected that it was him. His reason was a) When he thought for a brief while I like Bryan, I shot that down; b) when Indre and Tom (for some ungodly reason) thought I liked Brad, I shot that down with venom; and c) I wouldn’t tell him. I tell him just about anything he asks, and some things he doesn’t ask. And since I told Indre but not him, he figured that it was him. He’s one smart Asian. lol
Anyway, so Jazel flat out told him on Thursday that I like him. Bitch. (Trust me I had words with her and I’m still a bit mad at her but whatever. No use crying over spilled potion.) I knew that Matt had talked to Indre about it, and I really wanted to know what he said. I didn’t think it could have been too bad because I had seen him a few times since then and he even stayed an extra like 20 minutes at work to talk to me when his major philosophy about work is to “minimize time.” Well, as but as I wanted to ask, was going to not do something, stupid cliché and girly by asking her for gossip on him.
Well... yesterday Indre was writing a Valentine’s (S.A.D for the rest of us) note to her boyfriend, and asking me for advice. I helper he best I could (seeing as how love notes aren’t my thing) but I was getting kinda down listening to her. At one point my comment to her after a question was something like, "You do know that you’re making me depressed right?" She replied something like “Oh! I’m sorry.” And then she suggested that I write a note to Matt. I laughed. Loudly. And for a long time. I explained to her that I couldn't do that because a) it was too stereotypical and I live to defy stereotypes and b) I wasn't even sure how he was taking the whole I like him and I didn’t wanna make it worse. So she tells me that I don’t have to worry and then says something like “Want me to tell you what he said?” And then she did. ^_^
So here’s what he said: Matt apparently puts girls that he knows (especially ones he works with) in the "Friend" Category. [insert cringe here] But! He is apparently willing to “give it a try.” Just not now. He wants to see how things play out first, find out more about me, what we have in common, and what not before anything else. He’s worried that something may not work, or even way down the line we'll break up and since neither of us plan to quit soon, he doesn’t want to make work awkward.
That’s great news because it means that he’s honestly thinking about it. Also I have a chance. And most importantly that he’s at least serious to some degree because he's thinking about the future. Wow, a guy that thinks about things logically. What a change! (Sorry cheep but easy shot. j/k)
Back on topic though. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. It’s perfectly possible that with the way things play out, nothing will happen. But it’s nice to know I have hope and it’s nice to know that the thought wasn't revolting to him or anything. I’m going to try and stay calm though. Ball’s in his court. So I’m stuck where I was almost two years ago; waiting on Matt Time. It’s a different Matt but I still hate Matt time. It’s slow! Oh well, I'll get over it and hopefully Dang time is faster then Neylon time. Plus, if my previous experience has taught me anything it’s to not push anything and just let thing happen naturally. Patience is a virtue.
But seeing as how I’m an impatient person, I want to do something. I was thinking of asking him to the Spring Dance. (Seeing as how I quiet Y & G and I can go now.) I’m not gonna ask him now or anything. I’ll wait and give him time to, I guess, get a feel for the situation. If I ask, it’ll be the end of the month, or the beginning of March. That should be enough time seeing as how the dance is on the 18th. But for now, I’m not sure if I’m going to ask, I’ll just have to let him do what he deems right and see how things play out.
ttyl and (very) kinky sex dreams for all,
---Rhodes
You, breaking the circle
You, taking the light
You, you are the storyI should write
I have to write!
---Jamie, Shiksa Goddess, The Last Five Years
You all already know that Jazel spilled the beans to Matt about me liking him. And I may or may not have told you the according to Indre he already suspected that it was him. His reason was a) When he thought for a brief while I like Bryan, I shot that down; b) when Indre and Tom (for some ungodly reason) thought I liked Brad, I shot that down with venom; and c) I wouldn’t tell him. I tell him just about anything he asks, and some things he doesn’t ask. And since I told Indre but not him, he figured that it was him. He’s one smart Asian. lol
Anyway, so Jazel flat out told him on Thursday that I like him. Bitch. (Trust me I had words with her and I’m still a bit mad at her but whatever. No use crying over spilled potion.) I knew that Matt had talked to Indre about it, and I really wanted to know what he said. I didn’t think it could have been too bad because I had seen him a few times since then and he even stayed an extra like 20 minutes at work to talk to me when his major philosophy about work is to “minimize time.” Well, as but as I wanted to ask, was going to not do something, stupid cliché and girly by asking her for gossip on him.
Well... yesterday Indre was writing a Valentine’s (S.A.D for the rest of us) note to her boyfriend, and asking me for advice. I helper he best I could (seeing as how love notes aren’t my thing) but I was getting kinda down listening to her. At one point my comment to her after a question was something like, "You do know that you’re making me depressed right?" She replied something like “Oh! I’m sorry.” And then she suggested that I write a note to Matt. I laughed. Loudly. And for a long time. I explained to her that I couldn't do that because a) it was too stereotypical and I live to defy stereotypes and b) I wasn't even sure how he was taking the whole I like him and I didn’t wanna make it worse. So she tells me that I don’t have to worry and then says something like “Want me to tell you what he said?” And then she did. ^_^
So here’s what he said: Matt apparently puts girls that he knows (especially ones he works with) in the "Friend" Category. [insert cringe here] But! He is apparently willing to “give it a try.” Just not now. He wants to see how things play out first, find out more about me, what we have in common, and what not before anything else. He’s worried that something may not work, or even way down the line we'll break up and since neither of us plan to quit soon, he doesn’t want to make work awkward.
That’s great news because it means that he’s honestly thinking about it. Also I have a chance. And most importantly that he’s at least serious to some degree because he's thinking about the future. Wow, a guy that thinks about things logically. What a change! (Sorry cheep but easy shot. j/k)
Back on topic though. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. It’s perfectly possible that with the way things play out, nothing will happen. But it’s nice to know I have hope and it’s nice to know that the thought wasn't revolting to him or anything. I’m going to try and stay calm though. Ball’s in his court. So I’m stuck where I was almost two years ago; waiting on Matt Time. It’s a different Matt but I still hate Matt time. It’s slow! Oh well, I'll get over it and hopefully Dang time is faster then Neylon time. Plus, if my previous experience has taught me anything it’s to not push anything and just let thing happen naturally. Patience is a virtue.
But seeing as how I’m an impatient person, I want to do something. I was thinking of asking him to the Spring Dance. (Seeing as how I quiet Y & G and I can go now.) I’m not gonna ask him now or anything. I’ll wait and give him time to, I guess, get a feel for the situation. If I ask, it’ll be the end of the month, or the beginning of March. That should be enough time seeing as how the dance is on the 18th. But for now, I’m not sure if I’m going to ask, I’ll just have to let him do what he deems right and see how things play out.
ttyl and (very) kinky sex dreams for all,
---Rhodes
You, breaking the circle
You, taking the light
You, you are the storyI should write
I have to write!
---Jamie, Shiksa Goddess, The Last Five Years
Alura - 5:05 PM
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
[::..Logical MD..::]
Ok. This post is a result of my recent uncertainty over a certain boy named Matt. And no, I don’t mean the tall, skinny, white one. This will be logical look at my thoughts, my feelings, his possible thoughts/feelings, and my options. Alright folks, here goes. (Note: when saying "Matt" in this blog, I mean Subway Matt. When I mean Matt Neylon, I'll say Neylon. Just to make that less confusing.)
Well let’s start with the obvious. I like him. Well now that that is out of the way, now to try and figure out why. For starters, he’s not really my type. Physically at least. I usually go for the aryan. What can I say? Blue eyes are hot and Nazis are haunting me. lol. Anyway. Back on topic. Physically, he’s not what I'm usually attracted to. And based on looks alone, I wouldn't date him. Good thing though, because there are more important things then looks, such as personality. He’s got a great personality. He’s an ass. A major ass! But he’s also a really nice guy. Like, you know that even if he’s being kinda mean, and messing with you, he’s still a good guy under it all. He’s also a really good listener. Granted if you don’t have him on your good side, he'll tell everyone he can find about what you say, he’s still a good listener though. He’s just got this way about him, that you just talk to him. It’s like blah, blah, blah, talking about random stuff, then boom, next thing you realize, you just told him something that some of your friends don’t even know about you yet. He just listens well. But not only that, but he’s fun to talk to. He can talk about anything, at all. He’s not afraid to voice his opinion, even if it differs from yours and he thinks in a way, so unlike what you'd expect or that you're used to. Even when we agree on things, it’s usually for sometimes vastly different reasons, and you're like "wow, never thought of it that way." Talking to him is quite refreshing. It’s like getting a new outlook on life. Most my friends all think similarly to me, no big philosophical, moral, or ethical debates there. And the main person I talk to who’s not a liberal, well, I've talked to him so much, its kinda lost its fun because I expect most of what he’s says. It’s great to debate with someone new and fun. Hell, just the fact that I can talk to him at all is good! I mean, being able to hold an intelligent conversation with a guy is very important to me. And with Matt, I can talk for hours (literally) about things ranging from future plans, to abortion, to fellow Subway employees. So what I most like about him is his ability to listen and talk. Just talking to him for half an hour at work, is more intellectually fulfilling then a 2 hour conversation with Neylon. (No offense.)
As for his thoughts or feelings, well I'm not sure. Ok, Indre keeps saying he likes me, Shaffer says we're flirting, Emily and Tracy agree. And I want them to be right. I wanna believe that all our bickering is just a Rowling esque way to release sexual tension. I wanna believe that the water fights, the turn fights, the jokes, and all the little things like refilling each other's cups, getting things for one another, voluntarily doing what the other hates, and odd glances, mean that he has feelings for me or is interested. I wanna believe it, but come on folks. I'm a pessimistic bitch. Nothing ever goes my way, and I don’t wanna get my hopes up. I mean, he is always very nice to me, well he’s an ass, but nice at the same time. It makes sense to me ok? He’s always holding the door open, getting my jacket from the back, punching me in and out, and just little things. And he does all of these things automatically. No questions asked. It could just be from habit though. I mean we work together a lot and he may just be in the habit of punching me out because he’s right there. But if I'm letting myself be optimistic, I think I have hope. I think he may be interested. He may not be sure, but I think there’s something. A something that's going both ways. I just have to be same and make sure I'm not "spinning out of control."
My options? Well the two main ones are, do nothing and ask him out. But what to do? I mean, do nothing has a point. I can be safe that way. Prevent myself from possible heart ache and/or awkwardness. But that option leaves me alone and always wondering what could have been if only I hadn't been too fearful. I've turned down way too many guys in the past year in a half, and I regret that. I don’t want this to become another regret. As for option two, well I don’t wanna be too forward. It’s always a little odd when the girl asks the guy, and I don’t wanna come off too strong. I always come off too strong. Another problem with that, rejection! I don’t fancy rejection and the more then likely awkwardness that comes with a turn down. I do have to keep in mind that I work with him. A lot! But "no day but today" right? So option two is good because, well it would end the unsure aspect of things and well, I'd be exercising my right as a female to reverse the traditional roles. (Though if I'm being honest, I'm a helpless romantic, and I secretly want some big sappy, romantic gesture. I prove my gender equality all the time; I don’t wanna have to do it now.) So since I can't decide, I'm going with option 3. Wait and see. Just wait and observe for a bit. See if he does anything, or acts differently, or anything. Get some more proof to either they he likes me or doesn't like me possibilities, then go from there. Problem with this you say? I know! If I'm "too slow!" I'll miss my chance, but for now, the waiting option seems the best one to pick. I'll just have to "listen to my heart" and go with the flow.
ttyl and later days,
---Rhodes
"Its hard not be sure, I'm spinning out of control."
---Jamie, Moving Too Fast, The Last Five Years
Well let’s start with the obvious. I like him. Well now that that is out of the way, now to try and figure out why. For starters, he’s not really my type. Physically at least. I usually go for the aryan. What can I say? Blue eyes are hot and Nazis are haunting me. lol. Anyway. Back on topic. Physically, he’s not what I'm usually attracted to. And based on looks alone, I wouldn't date him. Good thing though, because there are more important things then looks, such as personality. He’s got a great personality. He’s an ass. A major ass! But he’s also a really nice guy. Like, you know that even if he’s being kinda mean, and messing with you, he’s still a good guy under it all. He’s also a really good listener. Granted if you don’t have him on your good side, he'll tell everyone he can find about what you say, he’s still a good listener though. He’s just got this way about him, that you just talk to him. It’s like blah, blah, blah, talking about random stuff, then boom, next thing you realize, you just told him something that some of your friends don’t even know about you yet. He just listens well. But not only that, but he’s fun to talk to. He can talk about anything, at all. He’s not afraid to voice his opinion, even if it differs from yours and he thinks in a way, so unlike what you'd expect or that you're used to. Even when we agree on things, it’s usually for sometimes vastly different reasons, and you're like "wow, never thought of it that way." Talking to him is quite refreshing. It’s like getting a new outlook on life. Most my friends all think similarly to me, no big philosophical, moral, or ethical debates there. And the main person I talk to who’s not a liberal, well, I've talked to him so much, its kinda lost its fun because I expect most of what he’s says. It’s great to debate with someone new and fun. Hell, just the fact that I can talk to him at all is good! I mean, being able to hold an intelligent conversation with a guy is very important to me. And with Matt, I can talk for hours (literally) about things ranging from future plans, to abortion, to fellow Subway employees. So what I most like about him is his ability to listen and talk. Just talking to him for half an hour at work, is more intellectually fulfilling then a 2 hour conversation with Neylon. (No offense.)
As for his thoughts or feelings, well I'm not sure. Ok, Indre keeps saying he likes me, Shaffer says we're flirting, Emily and Tracy agree. And I want them to be right. I wanna believe that all our bickering is just a Rowling esque way to release sexual tension. I wanna believe that the water fights, the turn fights, the jokes, and all the little things like refilling each other's cups, getting things for one another, voluntarily doing what the other hates, and odd glances, mean that he has feelings for me or is interested. I wanna believe it, but come on folks. I'm a pessimistic bitch. Nothing ever goes my way, and I don’t wanna get my hopes up. I mean, he is always very nice to me, well he’s an ass, but nice at the same time. It makes sense to me ok? He’s always holding the door open, getting my jacket from the back, punching me in and out, and just little things. And he does all of these things automatically. No questions asked. It could just be from habit though. I mean we work together a lot and he may just be in the habit of punching me out because he’s right there. But if I'm letting myself be optimistic, I think I have hope. I think he may be interested. He may not be sure, but I think there’s something. A something that's going both ways. I just have to be same and make sure I'm not "spinning out of control."
My options? Well the two main ones are, do nothing and ask him out. But what to do? I mean, do nothing has a point. I can be safe that way. Prevent myself from possible heart ache and/or awkwardness. But that option leaves me alone and always wondering what could have been if only I hadn't been too fearful. I've turned down way too many guys in the past year in a half, and I regret that. I don’t want this to become another regret. As for option two, well I don’t wanna be too forward. It’s always a little odd when the girl asks the guy, and I don’t wanna come off too strong. I always come off too strong. Another problem with that, rejection! I don’t fancy rejection and the more then likely awkwardness that comes with a turn down. I do have to keep in mind that I work with him. A lot! But "no day but today" right? So option two is good because, well it would end the unsure aspect of things and well, I'd be exercising my right as a female to reverse the traditional roles. (Though if I'm being honest, I'm a helpless romantic, and I secretly want some big sappy, romantic gesture. I prove my gender equality all the time; I don’t wanna have to do it now.) So since I can't decide, I'm going with option 3. Wait and see. Just wait and observe for a bit. See if he does anything, or acts differently, or anything. Get some more proof to either they he likes me or doesn't like me possibilities, then go from there. Problem with this you say? I know! If I'm "too slow!" I'll miss my chance, but for now, the waiting option seems the best one to pick. I'll just have to "listen to my heart" and go with the flow.
ttyl and later days,
---Rhodes
"Its hard not be sure, I'm spinning out of control."
---Jamie, Moving Too Fast, The Last Five Years
Alura - 1:10 AM