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Name - Jesica
Age - 18

I am nothing but a drop.

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"You have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy."
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
---Albus Dumbledore

I've made my choice; I won't do what's easy. I'll no longer dwell; I'll live my life. And these are the reasons.
The reasons for my choice.

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Thursday, April 06, 2006

[::..Voices of My Past..::]

Just a poem about the voices of my past.

Voices of My Past

Hello little cousin.
How are you?
Come here, I wanna show you something.
See them? They're grown ups.
And they're doing grown up things.
Wanna be a grown up?
Let's try, put you hand here.
No, don't worry, it's ok.
But its our little secret.
Grown ups keep secrets.
Private areas? No, no, it's alright.
We're just being grown ups.
What we're doing isn't wrong.
Just don't tell anyone.

Hello my granddaughter.
How are you?
Come here, I wanna tell you something.
See him? You can't like him.
He's bad, he's foreign.
Why cant you like him?
He's jus going to leave your mother.
Excuse me? You told your mother?
You shouldn't have.
Said what? Leave?
I never said that.
Well I didn't mean to.
It wasn't me, it was the medicine.
Its ok, you can like him now.


Hello my daughter.
How are you?
Come here, I wanna show you something.
Its a game, we can play.
But just for a few hours.
Step Mother Judy?
She's at work, wont be home for a while.
When will you meet her?
Well I know your eight, but its just haven't happened.
don't worry, I love you.
Love who? You?
No, your not my daughter.
My wife doesn't even know about you.
How could you be my daughter?

Hello our friend.
How are you?
Come here, we wanna tell you something.
We cant be your friend anymore.
We never really liked you.
You were just the new girl.
We felt sorry for you.
But now there's a new, new kid.
So we can't be your friend anymore.
don't worry, I'm still your friend.
Well, maybe not.
Everyone else did leave....
Yes, I agree with them. I'm not your friend.
Goodbye. See ya 'round.

Hello my daughter.
How are you?
Come here, I wanna show you something.
Here's how you wash dishes.
And sweep floors, and wash clothes.
Lets not forget cook, and vacuum.
Can you do this for me? Everyday.
I know you wanna play.
But I need you to do this.
And babysit your brother and sister too please.
Dont forget their diapers.
You didn't really wanna go outside did you?
I thought you didnt like people?
Come here, I need your help with this too.

Hello best friend.
How are you?
Come here, I wanna show you something.
Its how to have fun. And love.
You can talk to me.
I care about you, I love you.
Will you go out with me?
Good, because I care about you.
On second, thought maybe not.
We should just be friends.
How do I feel about you? I'm not sure.
I know its been over a year, but I just don't know.
I love you, well I did.
Perhaps its better if we weren't friends at all.

Sexual abuse.
Brainwashing.
Abandonment.
loneliness.
Pressure.
Emotional games.
Depression.
Suicide.
Tears.
Denial.
suppression.
Confusion.
My life.
The Voices of My Past still haunt me.


Alura - 12:13 AM