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Name - Jesica
Age - 18

I am nothing but a drop.

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Resolve


"You have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy."
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
---Albus Dumbledore

I've made my choice; I won't do what's easy. I'll no longer dwell; I'll live my life. And these are the reasons.
The reasons for my choice.

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Saturday, June 09, 2007

[::..Gone..::]

Monday is Matt's last day at Subway. Last, final, no more. I'll prolly never see him again after that. Never speak to him, never laugh with him, never confide in him, never touch him again.

What am I gonna do?

Maybe this is the perfect chance to get over him. But do I even want to get over him? I care for him so much, and then suddenly *poof* hes leaving. Maybe I should feel special, I was the 1st person he told because we spoke for like half an hour the other night. And even thought I had an warning that it might happen...

It hurts. Like after he left, Iris came on the radio and I wanted to cry. I dont know what to do. Hes notorious for not keeping in touch with people after leaving. Hes done it to Brad, Indre, Tom, Jason... I dont chance at seeing him again. Hes gone guys, the hot, smart, funny, caring asian that I've loved for so long, is finally leaving my life.

I'll never see him again.

ttyl and better days,
---Jessica

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man
And be strongI've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains you're
Gone

---Nysnc, Gone, Celebrity

Alura - 12:50 AM


Sunday, June 03, 2007

[::..In Two Places..::]

I'm a tad confused right now. You all know how I feel about Matt. I'm head over heals for him. But suddenly, I realized that what I always thought impossible, might just be happening to me.

I think I like another guy too. As in, I like two guys at once.

I always thought it was impossible. That there was no way I could like more then one guy at once seeing as how invested in a person I have to be, to like them. Yet there I was with the taste of jealously churning my stomach. My brain frying at the very idea. And now I idea wont leave me. I'm not sure yet. Or rather, I dont want to be sure yet. So I'm testing in the upcoming event. Who knows, maybe I'm being crazy. Maybe its just that I'm desperate. Hopefully I'll find out soon.

*sigh* What the hell is wrong with me. I keep picking guys that I not only have no chance with, but I shouldnt date. This one is worse though. I've really hit the low. This is the one guy that I CANT like, and here I am, thinking I might have a feeling or two for him that more then just friendship.

Pray for me, pray to whatever you worship. Please dont let this be true, or Cupid and I are gonna have to have a nice long chat. *grabs Ryuu*

ttyl and better days,
---Jessica

“Cupid's a dodgy little bastard, he is!”

Ron looked up from his latest death prediction for Professor Trelawney (Attack by a thousand enraged exploding budgrigars), confusion evident on his face.

“How d'you reckon that, mate?”

“Well, it's obvious, really. Look, the barmy little blighter never ages. He flits around wearing nothing but a nappy, shooting his blasted arrows all over the place, not caring in the least what damage he does.” He tossed his hands up in agitation. “I ask you, is that a proper sort of job to have? I think not!”
--- Dodgy by AKA_Hagrid (AGREED)

EDIT:
I think it died. The feelings for the 2nd guy. *lets out deep breath* That makes life a million times easier!

Alura - 12:50 AM