[::..Recap and Update Before Its All Said And Done..::]
The last, however long, has been emotional hell. Every tiny little thing pissed me off, or made me cry or something. It was crazy. I even snapped so far as to kinda talk to my mother. Yeah you read that right, I kinda talked to her. Enough so that I think she may lighten up a bit on her bitchy ness. I also have to go to the doctor on Thursday. Whatever. That'll be awkward! *sigh*
I worked with Matt today. It was brilliant. It was pointless and stupid and I felt so alive! Working with Matt is the only time I really slack off and not work my but off when at Subway. I'm too busy enjoying myself. Novel concept right? Enjoying myself. I hardly enjoy myself doing what I like doing, let alone at work. I dont know what it is, but...
Ok, I lied. I know what it is. He makes me feel alive. When I'm with him theres no pretending to be happy, its all real. I smile because I mean it, not because its expected. I laugh because he really makes me think that life's ok, not because I should. I'm real around him, free and happy. *sigh* Today was the 1st really good day I've in forever. I mean, I've had decent days, but not good days. Not great days. Not days where everything seems alright, where all I could think of were happy thoughts. *smile* I want this feeling to last. Forever. I want to repeat today for the rest of eternity, just to feel that great.
I'm such a sucker. I know it. I know I have no shot. None of at. But... I can dream right? I can hope.
ttyl and kinky sex dreams for all,
---Jessica
I'm waiting for the phone to ring
And all the wonder love should bring
All the things darling I left behind
Please give me a sign
A little smile would light my life
A single touch would blow my mind
---Nsync, Crazy For You, Nsync
I worked with Matt today. It was brilliant. It was pointless and stupid and I felt so alive! Working with Matt is the only time I really slack off and not work my but off when at Subway. I'm too busy enjoying myself. Novel concept right? Enjoying myself. I hardly enjoy myself doing what I like doing, let alone at work. I dont know what it is, but...
Ok, I lied. I know what it is. He makes me feel alive. When I'm with him theres no pretending to be happy, its all real. I smile because I mean it, not because its expected. I laugh because he really makes me think that life's ok, not because I should. I'm real around him, free and happy. *sigh* Today was the 1st really good day I've in forever. I mean, I've had decent days, but not good days. Not great days. Not days where everything seems alright, where all I could think of were happy thoughts. *smile* I want this feeling to last. Forever. I want to repeat today for the rest of eternity, just to feel that great.
I'm such a sucker. I know it. I know I have no shot. None of at. But... I can dream right? I can hope.
ttyl and kinky sex dreams for all,
---Jessica
I'm waiting for the phone to ring
And all the wonder love should bring
All the things darling I left behind
Please give me a sign
A little smile would light my life
A single touch would blow my mind
---Nsync, Crazy For You, Nsync
Alura - 9:02 PM