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Name - Jesica
Age - 18

I am nothing but a drop.

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Resolve


"You have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy."
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
---Albus Dumbledore

I've made my choice; I won't do what's easy. I'll no longer dwell; I'll live my life. And these are the reasons.
The reasons for my choice.

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Sunday, September 10, 2006

[::..Mummy..::]

Yeah, I pretty much hate my mother. Ok, hate may be strong, but I cant stand her!!! Every five seconds shes giving me another chore, yelling at me for something else, critisizing something, I just hate it. I cant even count the numbers of times I've cried in the last week thanks to my mother. I'm sorry mom. I'm not trying to be a burden. Would you like it better if I just left? Maybe moved in with Nana. Knox College is a good school. It has a good history program, and I know quite a few of the professors there already. Maybe I should just move there. I'd hate it, but I wouldnt have to worry about my mother hating me.

I just hate life. I feel so out of place all the time. LIke I just dont belong anywhere. Unless I'm acting like a freaking, I feel like I'm invisable or something. LIke no one knows me. And I wanna get to know people better, but everyone has something and I dont know where I fit. And I feel like the one person I was getting kinda close to, is realizing her mistake. Cause it was a mistake. Anyone who talks to me is making a mistake. God, why cant I just end this? What exatly am I doing for this world? Nothing. Not a damn thing. So why am I still here? Is it part of equivalent exchange? There have to be truly miserable people in the world, for there to be happy people? I just hate not having anywhere to go. When I'm at home, I wanna leave, when I'm with friends, I wanna leave. I just dont belong. I'm.... different. Defective somehow. Like my piece of this puzzle called life, is ripped and doesnt fit anywhere. I hate it. I hate life. I hate myself.

ttyl and better days,
---Rhodes

I dream in darkness
I sleep to die
erase the silence
erase my life
our burning ashes
blacken the day
a world of nothingness
blow me away
---Evanescence, Sweet Sacrifice, The Open Door

Alura - 2:41 PM