[::..Please Tell Me What A Friend Is!- Part 2..::]
I just thought I'd update on how my life was going. Not really much better. Things with my friends are better in some ways and worse in other ways.
1. What's "Hanging Out"?
I'm pretty content with only see them in school and at work. That doesnt mean I want them visiting me but working with Sam is ok. I dont really like seeing them outside of school, work or Tech stuff though. Tracy may be different. We hung out the other day and it was ok. *shrugs shoulder*
2. Down to Two
Yeah so Marina is kinda off the list of people that I can still stand. Sad but oh well. I spent about a week and a half ignoring her until she asked me about it and yelled at me for accusing me of things she claims arent true. (I stand by my statements 100%.) We "talked" which was pretty much me saying the same thing I've said on here and other blogs a thousand times. But whatever.
After that I'm still not really talking to her. I'm not ignoring her like I was. But I have no desire to really spend time with her. I dont see the point. I was there to be a Substitute Sam/therapist. And well, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of people coming to me to rant and shit but me no being able to turn to them. Oh they say I can but its bull. No offense guys but deep down you know its true. None of you actually want me to come to you about my problems. You prolly wouldnt know how to react if I did. So whats the point?
3. Surprise Addition
Besides Marina whos now on the "I dont really wanna talk to you" list, now Deepti is. Perhaps its hypcritical of me but I'm getting tired of her not listening to me. I mean, I've been telling her for months to just cut Archit from her life cause hes just like Neylon but she wont listen. Then she comes to me and rants about what he did while I tell her again, to CUT HIM OFF! But why listen to me? I dont know what I'm talking about. I didnt spend almost two years in a dance of lies and broken hearts with Neylon. Oh wait! You should, I do, I did!
4. My Own Status Quo
Still lonely. Nothing will change that. Cause as much I love you guys (despite how harsh my words on here sound) none of you really provide what I need. You guys provide escape from my problems. But I'm tired of escaping, of running. I wanna fight them and fix them. And I dont see how you guys are helping me do that. So I'm stuck alone. But its my own making, so whatever. Its, as always, my problem to deal with.
ttyl and better days,
---Jessica
"Whats the point of being the therapist for everyone if they dont listen to what you have to say?"
---Me
1. What's "Hanging Out"?
I'm pretty content with only see them in school and at work. That doesnt mean I want them visiting me but working with Sam is ok. I dont really like seeing them outside of school, work or Tech stuff though. Tracy may be different. We hung out the other day and it was ok. *shrugs shoulder*
2. Down to Two
Yeah so Marina is kinda off the list of people that I can still stand. Sad but oh well. I spent about a week and a half ignoring her until she asked me about it and yelled at me for accusing me of things she claims arent true. (I stand by my statements 100%.) We "talked" which was pretty much me saying the same thing I've said on here and other blogs a thousand times. But whatever.
After that I'm still not really talking to her. I'm not ignoring her like I was. But I have no desire to really spend time with her. I dont see the point. I was there to be a Substitute Sam/therapist. And well, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of people coming to me to rant and shit but me no being able to turn to them. Oh they say I can but its bull. No offense guys but deep down you know its true. None of you actually want me to come to you about my problems. You prolly wouldnt know how to react if I did. So whats the point?
3. Surprise Addition
Besides Marina whos now on the "I dont really wanna talk to you" list, now Deepti is. Perhaps its hypcritical of me but I'm getting tired of her not listening to me. I mean, I've been telling her for months to just cut Archit from her life cause hes just like Neylon but she wont listen. Then she comes to me and rants about what he did while I tell her again, to CUT HIM OFF! But why listen to me? I dont know what I'm talking about. I didnt spend almost two years in a dance of lies and broken hearts with Neylon. Oh wait! You should, I do, I did!
4. My Own Status Quo
Still lonely. Nothing will change that. Cause as much I love you guys (despite how harsh my words on here sound) none of you really provide what I need. You guys provide escape from my problems. But I'm tired of escaping, of running. I wanna fight them and fix them. And I dont see how you guys are helping me do that. So I'm stuck alone. But its my own making, so whatever. Its, as always, my problem to deal with.
ttyl and better days,
---Jessica
"Whats the point of being the therapist for everyone if they dont listen to what you have to say?"
---Me
Alura - 9:59 PM