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Name - Jesica
Age - 18

I am nothing but a drop.

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Resolve


"You have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy."
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
---Albus Dumbledore

I've made my choice; I won't do what's easy. I'll no longer dwell; I'll live my life. And these are the reasons.
The reasons for my choice.

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Monday, December 18, 2006

[::..One Is The Lonliest Number..::]

So I'm trying to sleep and I cant. Wanna know why?

I'm lonely.

And I dont mean in the "I have no friends" way but in the "I have no boyfriend" way.

Yeah...

Cassye and her boy friend came by Subway today and it reminded me how much I hate being single. Like really really HATE it. I cant even remember the last time I was asked out. Or hit on. Or anything.

Whats wrong with me? What am I doing that so horribly wrong? Do I come off too strong? Am I really that ugly? I've always thought I was at least mialdly attractive. And I've tried to not be too overbearing. Do guys not like it that I feel more at home in a wood shop, covered in paint and saw dust then in a beauty shop, covered in makeup and hair spray? Do guys not like a girl that can contend with them not only intellectually but in a male dominated area like wood working? Does that make me a freak?

*sigh* I hate this. I wanna go on a date. I dont care if its not Matt, I just wanna feel....

attractive. Cause lately I havent felt that way. Not at all. Not once. My aunt is all "oh youre gorgeous!" but shes my aunt, shes kinda required to say that.

Maybe I should dress nicer. Do my hair more. But then I wouldnt feel like me. And God knows that whatever I wear will just end up covered in saw dust. And I refuse to change who I am for a guy.

But maybe thats what I have to do. Give into the stereotype, be "girly," and ignore my love of the sound of a table saw, the smell of saw dust and learn to love hair spray and eye shadow.

Is that really what it takes to be loved in this world?

---Jessica

“Cupid's a dodgy little bastard, he is!”

Ron looked up from his latest death prediction for Professor Trelawney (Attack by a thousand enraged exploding budgrigars), confusion evident on his face. “How d'you reckon that, mate?”

“Well, it's obvious, really. Look, the barmy little blighter never ages. He flits around wearing nothing but a nappy, shooting his blasted arrows all over the place, not caring in the least what damage he does.” He [Harry] tossed his hands up in agitation. “I ask you, is that a proper sort of job to have? I think not!”
--- Dodgy by AKA_Hagrid

Alura - 12:45 AM