[::..Cheated..::]
I always looked forward to senior year, ever since being a freshman. It wasnt necessarily because then I'd be older or in charge of the school or any of that. Its because it was supposed to be my year.
Our year.
That's all I ever heard Neylon saw was that senior year everything would be different. All the people that kept us apart would have graduated, we'd be fine again, we'd do everything together. He promised me that senior year was going to be our year. All I had to do was hold on till then.
Well, he was right about one thing, everything is different. But its not our year. We dont even speak. I dont have my best friend back, I dont even have a best friend at all. We arent together, I'm not with anyone.
I feel so cheated. Everything I held out for for so long, is simply not true at all. I was lied to, mislead and now I'm alone. I dont have anyone to share anything with. There are a few that I can tell some things to but I dont have what Neylon promised me. Its such a let down.
I hate being lied toe.
I hate feeling cheated.
I hate being alone.
Is it so bad to want someone? Is it? Its not that I need to be in a relatinoship to be happy or something or to validate my existance. Thats not it at all. I'm just tired of being alone. I shouldnt have to be alone. I see Sam and Dustin together and tons of other couples and I cant help but feel like shit. Cause I have no one. I have MD, who I oogle at and argue with but thats not going anywhere and I know it. Its all in my head.
Its at moments like this that I simply want to give up. I know its stupid and dramatic, but I hate this feeling. The feeling of being not worthy of anyone, of being unloved, unwanted. The feeling of being disappointed, the feeling of being lied to, cheated.
Where's my happy ending? Where's my romantic gesture? Wheres my cliche? Where's my prince charming?
ttyl and better days,
---Jessica
"I want to fall maddly in love."
---My Xanga
Our year.
That's all I ever heard Neylon saw was that senior year everything would be different. All the people that kept us apart would have graduated, we'd be fine again, we'd do everything together. He promised me that senior year was going to be our year. All I had to do was hold on till then.
Well, he was right about one thing, everything is different. But its not our year. We dont even speak. I dont have my best friend back, I dont even have a best friend at all. We arent together, I'm not with anyone.
I feel so cheated. Everything I held out for for so long, is simply not true at all. I was lied to, mislead and now I'm alone. I dont have anyone to share anything with. There are a few that I can tell some things to but I dont have what Neylon promised me. Its such a let down.
I hate being lied toe.
I hate feeling cheated.
I hate being alone.
Is it so bad to want someone? Is it? Its not that I need to be in a relatinoship to be happy or something or to validate my existance. Thats not it at all. I'm just tired of being alone. I shouldnt have to be alone. I see Sam and Dustin together and tons of other couples and I cant help but feel like shit. Cause I have no one. I have MD, who I oogle at and argue with but thats not going anywhere and I know it. Its all in my head.
Its at moments like this that I simply want to give up. I know its stupid and dramatic, but I hate this feeling. The feeling of being not worthy of anyone, of being unloved, unwanted. The feeling of being disappointed, the feeling of being lied to, cheated.
Where's my happy ending? Where's my romantic gesture? Wheres my cliche? Where's my prince charming?
ttyl and better days,
---Jessica
"I want to fall maddly in love."
---My Xanga
Alura - 9:19 PM