[::..Empathetic..::]
So today sucked. Matt's going through shit right now and that makes me feel like shit. Like I can barely focus on anything, I feel lazy and even a bit woosey. Its nuts. I just hate being empathetic. I care entirely too much about people. This is part of the reason I tend to push others away, caring this much is draining. And I dont know how to care less without making myself feel like shit for not helping. *sigh*
To kinda satisfiy myself I wrote Matt this:
I still havent decided weather or not I'm going to send it. *sigh* I'm a chicken shit. No, I make chicken shit look good. Fuck me.
ttyl and better days,
---Jessica
To kinda satisfiy myself I wrote Matt this:
Ok, so I’m a very empathetic person. I can’t stand to see a person I know
going through something and me not help. It just drives me nuts. So this is my
attempt at helping you with your Quarter/Mid-Life Crisis with what little I know
about it.
Tennis: You’re going to play despite those three not playing. Sure,
your team won’t do as well. But could you sit by and watch them do even worse
because your not there? Plus, you love the game. You know you wanna play.
Shah: Yeah he’s an idiot. I personally think he’s kinda funny, but
don’t let him being an idiot bother you if it is. He’s 28, perhaps its time for
him to grow up a bit.
Girls: Apparently you asked Tim for advice on females. Yeah… that’s
kind of a bad call. You’d have been better asking me considering I am a girl and
Tim is just the wrong person to ask. So, if you’re thinking of asking someone
out, just do it. Why would you get rejected? You’re a great guy. Much as I call
you an ass or a jerk or any number of things (Geeze! Am I ever nice to you? How
do you stand it?), you really are a nice guy. You’re a good listener, I know
I’ve found myself telling you things I didn’t intend to say. You’re a good
talker. You’re intelligent. (I mean, you are asian right? jk) You’re stable, aka
you have money seeing as how you have two jobs. (Women love that.) You are
obviously able to commit to something seeing as how you have two jobs, play a
sport and go to school full time. (Another thing we females tend to love.) And
you’re a good looking person. You wont get rejected. And if you already have,
well she kinda missed out didn’t she? Like I said, you’re a great guy, much I am
often times loathe admit.
Life: You’re 20 years old. You’re life is really just beginning. You
have a bright future, don’t worry about that. You’d have to really fuck up to
not having a good life.
And for any other problem, just think of all the lovely compliments I
just gave you and that should perk you up, right? Well I hope so, cause like I
said, I hate seeing people I know upset. And sorry if I’ve crossed some sort of
line that maybe I shouldn’t have. But like I said, I just had to help somehow or
at least make myself think I helped.
Oh and as for my last piece of advice. Talk to someone, even if you
just go to them a rant, it helps a ton. Plus, they may be able to give you some
advice. If you want, rant to me. I’m pretty good at giving advice, just ask the
girl still on your waiting list.
ttyl and better days,
---Jess
I still havent decided weather or not I'm going to send it. *sigh* I'm a chicken shit. No, I make chicken shit look good. Fuck me.
ttyl and better days,
---Jessica
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
---Mandy Moore, Only Hope, A Walk To Remember Soundtrack
UPDATE: Yeah I sent it. And all on my own without making people encourage me. I'm kinda proud of myself. ^_^ Now for this worry to go away...
Alura - 10:54 PM