[::..Again..::]
I'm crying again. After I thought that I finally wouldn't cry over anything to do with him, spare death, ever again. Here I sit, crying my eyes out. I never meant to hurt him. Never. There are so many things I want to say to him. To make him understand. I do see his side, but he doesnt see mine. At least not all of it. So many things. So very many. So many regrets. So many wrongs I've commited. So many things that I would die to take back. So many things. So very many.
I
I've been lying. Lying to everyone, even myself. I thought I was fine, that things were better. When really all I did was what I did in 5th grade. Fill my life with anime. I had hoped, like he did, that everything would go back to normal given a few days. But it didnt. I was left with a gap so wide, so vast that I needed more and more anime to fill it with. I even started Operation Tracy to distract myself from it. But what I really need is my best friend back.
Please God, let it not be real. Let me wake up tomorrow and have it all be a dream. Let me wake up tomorrow and have it be the first day of High School. Then I can start over, clean slate. Please let it all have been a dream made up by my over active imagination. Cause if its not, I dont know what I'll do.
I
I've been lying. Lying to everyone, even myself. I thought I was fine, that things were better. When really all I did was what I did in 5th grade. Fill my life with anime. I had hoped, like he did, that everything would go back to normal given a few days. But it didnt. I was left with a gap so wide, so vast that I needed more and more anime to fill it with. I even started Operation Tracy to distract myself from it. But what I really need is my best friend back.
Please God, let it not be real. Let me wake up tomorrow and have it all be a dream. Let me wake up tomorrow and have it be the first day of High School. Then I can start over, clean slate. Please let it all have been a dream made up by my over active imagination. Cause if its not, I dont know what I'll do.
Alura - 10:35 PM