[::..Incapable..::]
Yeah, so I'm incapable of a few things. Here the list:
1. Being 100% honest with people. There are some people that I wont lie to. But that doesnt mean I tell them the whole truth. Yeah, just now was an example of that. I hate to admit it, but Neylon's ability to avoid questions is a good tactic. Annoying as hell if you on the recieving end but useful as hell for the one trying to avoid something.
2. Having close friends. No matter what, I'll get annoyed with them. I know thats natural, but when I get annoyed with someone I think is the closest I have to a good friend, I cant let it go. And theres no point in telling them cause thats who they are. I cant ask them to change for me.
3. Telling people my problems. I've taught myself for so long not to tell anyone my problems or issues, that I can. I may tell you something, but thats either a) old news, b) not the real issue or c) not an important issue compared to others I have.
4. Being normal. I cant even be happy with tons of people around me. Even at the parties, I got annoyed. Like all of that was fake. If I hadnt gone, the party still would have been great for everyone. So what did it matter?
5. Being content. Even surrounded by people I long for just a little bit of love or contact. Not the fake hugs that get passed around Crew like AIDS, but a real hug that contains love and effection that is directed only towards you. God, I dont even know what that feels like. My mother hugged me and told me she loved me before I left for Emily's. Instead of feeling loved, all I felt was akward and annoyed. If shes gonna say, how bout acting on it!
Its almost nice that no one reads this thing anymore. I can say whatever I like. Cause if anyone read this, I'd have to hold back. But no one reads it cause if they did either a) I've be commited, b) I'd be sent back to Jacoby or c) Someone would ask me about it. But none of that has happened.
ttyl and kinky sex dreams for all,
---Jessica
After all this time i try to understand this pain
No excuses so i find a reason to run away
To run away
---Revelation Theory, Leaving It Up To You, Truth is Currency
1. Being 100% honest with people. There are some people that I wont lie to. But that doesnt mean I tell them the whole truth. Yeah, just now was an example of that. I hate to admit it, but Neylon's ability to avoid questions is a good tactic. Annoying as hell if you on the recieving end but useful as hell for the one trying to avoid something.
2. Having close friends. No matter what, I'll get annoyed with them. I know thats natural, but when I get annoyed with someone I think is the closest I have to a good friend, I cant let it go. And theres no point in telling them cause thats who they are. I cant ask them to change for me.
3. Telling people my problems. I've taught myself for so long not to tell anyone my problems or issues, that I can. I may tell you something, but thats either a) old news, b) not the real issue or c) not an important issue compared to others I have.
4. Being normal. I cant even be happy with tons of people around me. Even at the parties, I got annoyed. Like all of that was fake. If I hadnt gone, the party still would have been great for everyone. So what did it matter?
5. Being content. Even surrounded by people I long for just a little bit of love or contact. Not the fake hugs that get passed around Crew like AIDS, but a real hug that contains love and effection that is directed only towards you. God, I dont even know what that feels like. My mother hugged me and told me she loved me before I left for Emily's. Instead of feeling loved, all I felt was akward and annoyed. If shes gonna say, how bout acting on it!
Its almost nice that no one reads this thing anymore. I can say whatever I like. Cause if anyone read this, I'd have to hold back. But no one reads it cause if they did either a) I've be commited, b) I'd be sent back to Jacoby or c) Someone would ask me about it. But none of that has happened.
ttyl and kinky sex dreams for all,
---Jessica
After all this time i try to understand this pain
No excuses so i find a reason to run away
To run away
---Revelation Theory, Leaving It Up To You, Truth is Currency
Alura - 8:12 PM