[::..Never Love A Doctor..::]
Another crap day at work, this time thanks to....... TIM! Heres the story:
So I walk in in a good mood, carmel machiatto (sp) in hand, land piece of Robins costume bought, tax shit mailed in and almost 20 minutes early.
First let down: Tim let Matt leave early, so no last one second view of him before Florida.
So I get to work, and I'm talking to Tim. Remember, hes not as bad lately so I can handle it. There I am, making Tuna when I hear the words that make my heart stop.
"Matt's got a new crush now."
Yeah folks, he really said that. He proceeded to explain that theres some fucking 17 yr old from North that he thinks is hot.
Yeah, I dont know if its true, but still folks. I lost it. The thought that some bitch I go to school with is who he rather have, the thought that I really had no shot, the fact that Tim would tell me that... yeah I broke.
I started hypervenelating (sp) and was gonna call Shaffer when I realized I left my phone a home. Then, through an act of God, Fate or ESP, she walks in. I rant to her and I'm so broken that she gives me a hug and it didnt bother me. She then hits and yells at Tim as I sit there about to cry and wanting to just get shot in the heart. (Because the heart would just make it appropriate.) I thought of using Ryuu, Chuujitsu, or Saijitsu to do it, but then the blood would rust on the blade and thats not cool.
Shaffer, again a miracle, gives me her iPod to borrow (cause my Zen is on the fritz) while she goes to photograph the Spring ppl. Listening stopped my blind rage at Tim. Now that I think about it, he kept looknig at me like I was gonna blow. Didnt talk much either. Damn, I even scare (technically) grown men with my rage.
Then Shaffer came back and let me rant some more. After she left I wrote From the High. Another emo love song. Then after I stopped writing I went back to being angry and depressed. I'm sure I'll cry myself to sleep tonight. I almost cried at work too. *sigh*
I really hate this. I mean I cant confirm any of this. Shaffer says Tim says he doesnt really know anything, but still. Just the thought.... I really wanna die right now. I've been being a bitch all night. I cant control myself. This just is bull shit. How much of an ass do you have to be to say that to someone? I mean sure, Tim doesnt know that I'm emotionally unstable or that I'm in love with Matt. But he still knew I liked him. Thats bad there as it is.
I really hate life. Can I just leave this world yet? Please? I promise I'll be good and do whatever you want; if all this will just end.
ttyl and better days,
---Jessica
Emotions twirling, twisting within my heart
The sight of you sending me over the edge
Your body feet from mine
Your body my temple, you my god
Please don’t forsake me god
Please hear my prayer
Accept my sacrifice
I’m falling, falling fast
from the high of my expectations
I’m drowning, drowning quickly
from the depth of my love
I’m burning, burning slowly
from the cold of your shoulder
The words flowing like lava from my mouth
I told you everything, my demons I shared
Your ears were open to me
You fought for me, as you plotted against
Please don’t ignore me love
Please listen to me again
Accept my love for you
I’m falling, falling fast
from the high of my expectations
I’m drowning, drowning quickly
from the depth of my love
I’m burning, burning slowly
from the cold of your shoulder
Do you hear me say I love you?
Do you hear my voice echo in your heart?
Do you know that I would die
without your attention?
Do you care that I’m falling?
I’m falling, falling fast
from the high of my expectations
I’m drowning, drowning quickly
from the depth of my love
I’m burning, burning slowly
from the cold of your shoulder
Please don’t forsake me god
Please hear my prayer
Accept my sacrifice
I’m falling, falling fast
from the high of my expectations
I’m drowning, drowning quickly
from the depth of my love
I’m burning, burning slowly
from the cold of your shoulder
I’m dying, dying
Oh dying, dying
Yes I’m dying inside
with you so near
---Jessica Rhodes, From the High
So I walk in in a good mood, carmel machiatto (sp) in hand, land piece of Robins costume bought, tax shit mailed in and almost 20 minutes early.
First let down: Tim let Matt leave early, so no last one second view of him before Florida.
So I get to work, and I'm talking to Tim. Remember, hes not as bad lately so I can handle it. There I am, making Tuna when I hear the words that make my heart stop.
"Matt's got a new crush now."
Yeah folks, he really said that. He proceeded to explain that theres some fucking 17 yr old from North that he thinks is hot.
Yeah, I dont know if its true, but still folks. I lost it. The thought that some bitch I go to school with is who he rather have, the thought that I really had no shot, the fact that Tim would tell me that... yeah I broke.
I started hypervenelating (sp) and was gonna call Shaffer when I realized I left my phone a home. Then, through an act of God, Fate or ESP, she walks in. I rant to her and I'm so broken that she gives me a hug and it didnt bother me. She then hits and yells at Tim as I sit there about to cry and wanting to just get shot in the heart. (Because the heart would just make it appropriate.) I thought of using Ryuu, Chuujitsu, or Saijitsu to do it, but then the blood would rust on the blade and thats not cool.
Shaffer, again a miracle, gives me her iPod to borrow (cause my Zen is on the fritz) while she goes to photograph the Spring ppl. Listening stopped my blind rage at Tim. Now that I think about it, he kept looknig at me like I was gonna blow. Didnt talk much either. Damn, I even scare (technically) grown men with my rage.
Then Shaffer came back and let me rant some more. After she left I wrote From the High. Another emo love song. Then after I stopped writing I went back to being angry and depressed. I'm sure I'll cry myself to sleep tonight. I almost cried at work too. *sigh*
I really hate this. I mean I cant confirm any of this. Shaffer says Tim says he doesnt really know anything, but still. Just the thought.... I really wanna die right now. I've been being a bitch all night. I cant control myself. This just is bull shit. How much of an ass do you have to be to say that to someone? I mean sure, Tim doesnt know that I'm emotionally unstable or that I'm in love with Matt. But he still knew I liked him. Thats bad there as it is.
I really hate life. Can I just leave this world yet? Please? I promise I'll be good and do whatever you want; if all this will just end.
ttyl and better days,
---Jessica
Emotions twirling, twisting within my heart
The sight of you sending me over the edge
Your body feet from mine
Your body my temple, you my god
Please don’t forsake me god
Please hear my prayer
Accept my sacrifice
I’m falling, falling fast
from the high of my expectations
I’m drowning, drowning quickly
from the depth of my love
I’m burning, burning slowly
from the cold of your shoulder
The words flowing like lava from my mouth
I told you everything, my demons I shared
Your ears were open to me
You fought for me, as you plotted against
Please don’t ignore me love
Please listen to me again
Accept my love for you
I’m falling, falling fast
from the high of my expectations
I’m drowning, drowning quickly
from the depth of my love
I’m burning, burning slowly
from the cold of your shoulder
Do you hear me say I love you?
Do you hear my voice echo in your heart?
Do you know that I would die
without your attention?
Do you care that I’m falling?
I’m falling, falling fast
from the high of my expectations
I’m drowning, drowning quickly
from the depth of my love
I’m burning, burning slowly
from the cold of your shoulder
Please don’t forsake me god
Please hear my prayer
Accept my sacrifice
I’m falling, falling fast
from the high of my expectations
I’m drowning, drowning quickly
from the depth of my love
I’m burning, burning slowly
from the cold of your shoulder
I’m dying, dying
Oh dying, dying
Yes I’m dying inside
with you so near
---Jessica Rhodes, From the High
Alura - 10:47 PM